either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
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She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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