No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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