my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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