you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
