Sry I called you an 8
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
