Already got asked if we're dating
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
