his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is Oprah even human
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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