i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
