fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
