Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
