she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have fence marks all over my body
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
