His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
