The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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