she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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