i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
