it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize