If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
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Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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