He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
