Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
