Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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