so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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