i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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