Its about making memories worth repressing
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
