shes about as inviting as chlamydia
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
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He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Liz is crying about burritos again.
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You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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