So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
