she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
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Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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