that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just gargled with NyQuil
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
