This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
