Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
