I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Pants are for mortals
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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