Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
