I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
