tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
