I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
