One girl and one boy is just not enough.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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