Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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