Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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