I got chris browned last night
I wannas sexs uuuuu
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
