Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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