Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
