ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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