You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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