please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
