physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
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i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
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Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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