what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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