do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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