I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize