I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize