conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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