I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
