see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
