you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize