Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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