you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize