areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
