So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
