Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
