Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
