are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
